Co-Regulation in Action: A Four-Step Practice
Lesson 3 of 7 in Behaviour Guidance & Positive Discipline · 28 minutes
Read about a simple four-step practice for the moments when a child is overwhelmed by big feelings: Calm yourself, get close-and-low, name the feeling, wait-and-offer. Each step is small. Together, they are how a calm adult helps a child come back to themselves. The reading includes specific scripts you can use, what NOT to do, and a short note on what to do when YOU are activated too.
What you'll learn
- Describe the four steps of in-the-moment co-regulation
- Use specific Canadian phrases for each step
- Recognize the educator body language that lowers a child's intensity
- Identify what NOT to do during co-regulation (lecturing, asking why, pushing logic)
- Manage your own activation before trying to regulate a child
From the lesson
When a Child's Feelings Get Big
A child is screaming. A child is hitting. A child is curled up under the table refusing to move. A child has spilled their juice on purpose and is now crying so hard they cannot breathe. These are the moments. They will happen in your room every day, and on hard days, several times.
In each one, the child is not 'misbehaving' in the punishing sense — they are over their own threshold. Their thinking brain has 'flipped its lid' (Daniel Siegel's phrase). What they need most is a calm grown-up beside them. Logic, instructions, scolding, even questions ('Why are you crying?') will not reach them. Your body and your tone will.
Here is a simple four-step practice you…